How can we become more vulnerable and resist the urge to run and hide when we feel exposed or when things feel a bit risky?
I’m a Brené Brown Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator – and I also struggle with vulnerability. Vulnerability is an unnerving emotion to step into – especially when you’ve fought your whole life to become secure.
The situation that usually reveals our real relationship with vulnerability shows up with the people in our life who we give a really BIG shit about. For example, my husband and I can be cruising along when a situation arises wherein my immediate, instinctual, goes-against-being-vulnerable pattern plays out. Yet, within my community of women (who are not as close to my heart as my husband of a million years and father to our children), I find it much easier to be consistently vulnerable. I wanted to better understand why I couldn’t apply the same commitment to vulnerability in every area of my life. So, I decided to really start to unpack this.
During our weekly gatherings, the women of OWN YOUR BRILLIANCE support one another and focus on improving our individual ‘shortcomings.’ I often invite these women to step into vulnerability and have the opportunity, myself, to explore where I am or am not doing the same.
I caught myself saying this the other day, “I truly suck at being vulnerable.” No, that wasn’t my inner bully speaking, it was me taking a hard look at myself. My inner bully wouldn’t ever say that to a friend – and that’s how I know it’s my deeper process. Ha, look!... It’s me, actually being vulnerable! I’m waking up to my scared self and am committed to taking a little journey with my dear friend, Fear.
I realize that my ingrained methods of self-protection, which uniquely arise with my husband, make me want to work on becoming more courageous and vulnerable. When I get scared, I quietly hide in the parts of my life where I have clarity and feel fearless.
This pattern of self-protection has done its said purpose: it has protected me from my fearful imagination. Now, I am committed to bravely and boldly telling my badass self to take a back seat. Now, my scared and vulnerable self is ready to emerge – an eager and humble beginner.
I know how to teach this stuff (and actually practice doing this in my parts of my life), but now it’s time to practice where it may count the most - with the ones I feel most vulnerable.
Vulnerability is strength – not weakness – and I know it’s a way forward.